Welcome to my birthday! By reading this you’ve automatically been drafted into celebration mode, hooray! Please go do something for yourself that is at least a little bit fun, add that extra $1.50 shot of syrup to your coffee order or take a hot bath or get an extra taquito from Taco Bell, whatever you think is a good time. All the better if it involves some sort of bubbly, effervescent beverage. 🥂

While I was certainly expecting to feel Some Kind of Way about my birthday this year, I’m actually pretty ambivalent about it. Life has certainly been offering up an extra serving of Challenges lately, but nothing I can’t handle. None of these situations or circumstances feel dire; my head feels level. In years past I’ve felt rather glum on my birthday for assorted reasons but this year I’m happy to just keep enjoying the good stuff that I have, and the good people I get to spend time with, and that is plenty for me.

Being born on Leap Day can make one rather esoteric about the nature of birthdays, and holidays in general. In a capitalist society that pushes “Today Is THE DAY to do THE THING” for every dang holiday, having one birthday every four years really calls to light how irrelevant time is. People often ask, but when do I celebrate? Whenever I want. What’s it matter? Time is an illusion, and also a flat circle.

The one thing I will say about my off-year birthdays is that they are not—ARE NOT—”unbirthdays”. Oh my GOD y’all an unbirthday is what Everyone experiences on days that are not Their Birthday, and that is not the same thing as not having a birthday at all! Yes this is a huge pet peave of mine! If anything it’s my non-birthday, a birthday that isn’t. I was born the day before March 1 and the day after February 28, so my birthday is… whichever day that is. Both, either, neither. If you’re confused by that, ask the caterpillar to pass you the hookah and just don’t worry about it, dear.

I think part of my ambivalence about my birthday this year is that it’s the middle year in the gap between birthdays. My last real birthday was two years ago in 2024, and my next is two years from now in 2028. How does a child feel about Christmas, when you ask them on the Fourth of July? It’s what it’s, as a friend of mine says. I’ve had my head so wrapped up in months of apartment maintenance, dental work, illness, trying to stay on top of work, et cetera et cetera, that I just don’t feel inclined to put any real effort into making A Thing of it this year. And that’s okay! I don’t think that speaks to a loss of childhood whimsy or anything; it’s simply not a priority. A birthday is a milestone, sure, but those are just markers on the side of the path as you keep moving toward your destination. 💜

Plus, spreading my birthday celebrations out across multiple more intimate get togethers over a series of days is kind of like having a deconstructed party. Slightly less overwhelming, still very fun, and certainly doesn’t put as much pressure on me to perform having a good time. The big parties can be fun, but I think I’m okay reserving those for real birthdays and major milestones.

This is going to be another photo-heavy edition; there are some longer pieces of writing I’ve been working on, so expect more words soon. For now, in weeks like these where I’m out and about a lot, a picture or three shall have to suffice.

☑️ Done and Done - It was a pretty full week! I’m officially back in the gym after meeting with a trainer on Monday and designing a targeted routine to run through for the next few months (and based on how sore I am after a full workout, it’s effective). Also went for a run with Irma on a very pleasant afternoon. Finally back on cam For Reals this time, and edited and queued up my birthday photoset on my fansites. Set boundaries around my availability for apartment maintenance so they’ll stop postponing/rescheduling for whenever—which yes, means they again delayed repair of the water heater; I also did some research on local tenants rights legal council. One pre-birthday night out at cocktails with a friend, one birthday dinner with family, various birthday phone call and text convos, and a birthday visit to the symphony with another friend.

📋 Coming up - Moar birthdaying! Second birthday dinner out to hot pot, maaaybe birthday dancing (but I’m currently v tired), and a birthday lunch with the bestie on Monday to close the weekend out. IN THEORY new maintenance crew is coming to “repair/replace” the water heater. Moar gym. Probably moar gaming to blow off steam and wrap up the current Diablo 4 season. The usual work.

🎵 Listening - The symphony performance I attended this weekend was Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons, followed by Mozart’s Haffner. The Vivaldi performance was definitely the main course of the evening, featuring mandolinist Avi Avital as the soloist. Most performances of the piece feature a violin in that role, so this was an interesting deviation that was cited as being a “more authentic voice” of the common populace of Italy during Vivaldi’s time. The conductor was also very educational in her presentation, breaking down each movement and giving insight into the story being told through different instrumentations. Probably the most informative symphony performance I’ve ever attended, with some very enthusiastic performers!

👾 Gaming - One of my favourite-of-all-time games on Steam is Audiosurf, which I’ve been playing off and on for close to two decades (there’s also an updated version which is shinier and more app-ier). Well the developer just dropped a promo for his new upcoming game: AudioMech. I’ve played the demo a bit and it relies on a lot of the same dynamics as Audiosurf, using your own music to program the algorithm of each level you play. Which as a very music-oriented person is very fun, and builds in infinite replayability! Gameplay on a keyboard was not terribly intuitive but again, it’s a demo, and I’m excited to see how things polish up for the main release.

🍸 Drinking - I had a cocktail this past week called a Purple Rain… described as “boozy taro milk tea” with rum, taro, coconut cream, lime, and popping boba. Except it felt like all the taro flavour was in the popping boba? And also how is one supposed to uh “drink” the boba when you’ve served it with crushed ice and tiny little cocktail straws? An illogical drink but it was both cute and very tasty.

👕 Wearing - As a pre-reward for being back in the gym, I ordered myself a new pair of workout leggings from Fabletica: the PowerHold Shine Legging. Unfortunately they’re almost sold out and I don’t know if/when they’ll restock, but I’m going to tell you about them anyway just to advocate for the PowerHold line overall. I absolutely need that fitted, high-waisted band or I’ll be tugging my leggings back up every couple sets, and these are doing well so far. Also the shine is so good and I will absolutely be wearing them in the club at some point.

I managed to get my new state ID juuuust in time to actually make some loose plans to go out Sunday night. Yes I had my interim paper ID and my previous card, but not everwhere will accept those for stuff like alcohol or at the door. But as a friend predicted… the mail does get delivered on Saturday, so that was a nice birthday treat for me to at least have the option.

As things sit right now, I am pretty exhausted. Birthday dancing sounds fun in concept, but it will mean borrowing spoons from Monday and Tuesday. Still, birthdays are a good excuse to indulge a little bit in heart-filling activities with friends. So, we’ll see what ends up happening. The heart may want what the heart wants, but the body, she is another year older and she is tired. 😂

I will end this email by wishing you a very merry unbirthday, lovely reader. I hope you are celebrating the day well, and maybe ending it as cozy as a small red dog wrapped up in a heated blanket.

xox,