If you can believe it, it is Sunday once again! So I want to kick things off by admitting that I made a goof. A silly inconsequential one, but nonetheless. At the beginning of July I was mucking about in my email hosting trying to add a new account. Thought I had got everything set up proper but hit a hiccup and meant to return to it later yet, somehow, entirely forgot that whole 3 hours of my life. Fast forward to this past week, when I filed a support ticket asking for help investigating why my @merrickmonroe.com email addresses weren’t receiving any mail.

In my defense. Part of the time between then and now was spent navigating the all-consuming tasks of travel and family time. I thought maybe I’d been doing a really good job cancelling newsletters and setting up filters? Alas. So, if you’ve done that thing I keep asking for and hit reply to any of my July newsletters, or tried to send me any email, uhhhhhh oops, can you, uh, send it again? 😅

It was an easy fix thankfully, I basically just messed up the DNS and hadn’t realized it, and within hours I was caught up on at least that day’s emails. But I don’t think I’m getting anything from those ~2-3 weeks. As I’ve often said, when it comes to coding/sysadmin stuff… I know enough to break things, but not anlways enough to fix them. 😂 But hey that’s how we learn, right? That’s how I learn, at least. Maybe. Related, Friday was National Sysadmin Appreciation Day, and boy, do I!

I’ve included a picture of Irma looking like a little summer goblin at the end, as a treat. Maybe read some words along the way? Or just scroll down for dog, I wouldn’t blame you.

☑️ Did It - Had a great time with many friends at the Ren Faire on Sunday—it was overcast and even sprinkled! Also had milkshake-tier bubble tea with one friend, and lunch with another. Made more appointments for adulting, attended my optometry appointment, ordered new glasses, actually finally hung those shelves in my open closet(!!), shot and edited a mini photoset.

📋 Gonna Do It - Watching sessions from my biz coach’s Neurodiverse Entrepreneur Summit, having someone through to finally replace my broken window blinds (in theory/here’s hoping), catching up on my neglected bullet journal so that I can set up for August, getting together with a friend for some chill yard time. Maaaaybe doing some organizing in my newly-shelved closet, maybe doing more writing? Maybe bleach my hairrr??

In conversation recently with a friend, she was lamenting that she’s been going at 80mph and doesn’t seem any closer to her goal. “Sounds like the solution to your exhaustion isn’t more work.” I told her. “What do you mean? But nobody else is going to do this… and it HAS to get done!”

Yes, the pressure to succeed, to prove yourself, is very very different when you’re an entrepreneur or freelancer; there’s no one else to blame nor to pick up the slack when things aren’t going smoothly. But legit, if a friend was telling you “I’ve been working overtime in the office and I’m worried I’m going to burn out,” your reply would most likely be to stop giving so many extra hours, maybe take even one day off if they can’t spare the time for a whole vacation. And if a friend gave you that advice, would you take it? Would you?

While I do very much understand the hustle and the desire to be self-sufficient, I know that can’t come at the cost of my own health or sanity—what little I have left! 😉 If capitalism is the enemy (and, we know it is!) rest truly is one of the most revolutionary acts we can engage in as individuals. We advise our friends to rest because it’s a good idea, essential even. Are we ourselves not worthy of living our best, well-rested life alongside our friends? I want to live the life my friends and loved ones want for me. A life with rest, with joy, with pleasure, with commitment. That’s how I define “success.”

So, go get some rest. The work will still be there.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about digital presentation and hygiene and, to a degree, safety. I don’t think I need to tell you how rough things are getting out there on the wild web. As a sex worker, my posts and social media profiles have largely flown under the radar, and to my knowledge I’ve never been “shadow banned”, or been put in poster’s jail. But as the landscape changes, as my skills and offerings evolve, I recognize that I too must change, must adapt. Not to capitulate, but to just… shore up the castle, so to speak.

Consider: the humble, ubiquitous link page.

For years, I’ve kept alllll my links under one Linktree, but right now I’m wanting more control in how I present myself. As I dip my toe into more SFW waters—UGC and brand photography and so on—I also want to do due diligence to come across as… unproblematic. Not hiding, just being smart. What does a brand see when they open the link in my bio? How easy is it for a potential photography client to find my portfolio? Fans, collaborators, and potential clients all interact with me in different ways, and my link pages should reflect that. Splitting things up lets me tailor each page to its audience, instead of trying to awkwardly blend it all together, forcing the user to scroll and hunt for what they’re looking for. So my plan is to split my links across two different services, one for SFW content and one for NSFW. And I think it’s going to be really useful.

While my Linktree is not the most flexible, it’s clean, recognizable, and already integrated into all my public-facing profiles. For now, I’m going to keep using it, with some adjustments to focus it on SFW things: photography, newsletter signups, merch, general creative/business updates. It’s where I want new folks and brands/businesses to land. When I have the time to go through and edit all my socials, I plan to switch over to Beacons; it has great features like a built-in store, email opt-ins, and a sleek layout even on the free plan. (I’d def recommend it if you’re starting from scratch, and like Linktree, it does also allow 18+ links as long as you flag them properly.)

Then for NSFW stuff, AllMyLinks was the clear winner. It was built specifically with adult creators in mind — no content policing, no weird flagging systems, and no risk of losing my page just for linking to a spicy fan platform without needing to go through 5 extra steps to flag it properly. It’s also super familiar to fans already browsing sites like OnlyFans, Fansly, or ManyVids. AND Tipping is built in(?!). Part of the reason I want to split my links pages is also so that I can drop one spicy-focused link when posting promos on (for example) Bluesky. This will just make for a faster, more focused experience for users and fans looking for that content.

The best way to sell is not to show someone the entire catalog—it’s to understand their needs and then show them three options. Two of those options are suitable to their needs, but the third you already know isn’t what they want. Then the user feels empowered because they are still making a choice. Too many options, and people get overwhelmed. My goal in using two lists with different focuses is to help the user make that choice, without decision fatigue. Also, the built-in features like integrated tipping or a merch store absolutely seal the deal for me! The fewer clicks/taps/steps to get someone from A to B, the better.

If you’re a creator juggling multiple facets of your work, this might be something worth exploring too. A little extra clarity goes a long way.

☠️ Watching - Apropos of nothing, I decided to catch up on the Final Destination movies. At the time of writing this, I’ve watched 1-4, with 4 being new to me. It’s pretty gnarly to consider what growing up on an Internet with Faces of Death etc. did to our young minds, eh? I am a lot more squeamish now and I’m happy to look away during some of the more outlandish machinations of death; I’m getting a perfectly reasonable amount of editing done while “watching” these.

🎵 Listening - I recently saw someone say something about “that one summer we were all into witchhouse” and like, we were? It’s not like the year(s) of Chant or anything! But anyway, it’s looking like witchhouse is back, baby! Becuase not only do I keep seeing people talk about it, but I keep hearing it. To wit, this was a great and unexpected late-night listen: Tremors by CVSKET MVTCH. The artist didn’t tag this as witchhouse but uh, that be witchhouse yo. (Related reading: this Rolling Stone article about “Chant”-mania)

👾 Gaming - Well I said I wanted to do more gaming this week, and it ended up being on my Nintendo Switch, not my desktop. I’ve had Röki on my wishlist for a min and finally grabbed it while it’s on sale for a paltry $1.99 (through Aug. 8!). The animation is darling, the environments beautiful, the pacing (so far) feels rather low-pressure, and overall it’s just a chill time. You can buy Röki for the Nintendo Switch here.

🫐 Eating - I don’t know what it is, but I’m on a blueberry kick this summer. It’s like I forget that fresh blueberries are delicious, relegating myself to the slightly bitter confines of cheap frozen blueberries that are only suitable in a fruit smoothie. Then every few years, someone gives me a little basket of fresh bloobs, and oh right! These things are pretty good! I’m standing with the fridge door open, eating them by the handful.

🔞 The hot topic of the week is mostly certainly that an anti-porn group has turned its beady little eyes to indie video games, rallying for games publishing platforms Steam and Itch.io both to begin censoring/removing/delisting games with supposedly “adult” themes. Oh, so, now you’re all outraged? Now that they’re censoring “art” and “entertainment” you’re willing to call the credit card processors to complain? No, I get it, that’s certainly a line too far! Completely understandable that this has been happening to both indie and mainstream pornographers for over a decade, because I mean, that’s actual pornography. Not art; not your art! I get it. Oops, looks like I ranted about it.

🤑 A friend of mine who is a very talented erotica author and photographer/self-portrait artist had a very nice, concise little thread about the moral superiority game people play around buying the work of indie authors/creators from Amazon (or wherever). Tbh I think moralizing around the platform is a way people get out of actually supporting artists. “I’d buy your book but I don’t support Amazon” translates to “I’d support your work but the only avenue you have available to sell it to the public in this modern era of censorship doesn’t accommodate my personal opinions.” You’ll have to log in Bluesky to read their full thread. (Also: you can buy their most recent book on Amazon, or check their website for more books and buying options.)

👗 As someone who has always been annoyed about “boho” fashion trends due to my actually-Bohemian lineage, this IG Reel breaking down the evolution of “boho” in a fashion context is really interesting! Admittedly, I’d never taken the time to understand the origins of the term, so I feel somewhat assuaged now.

Someone asked me recently what’s making me happy, and to be honest I didn’t really have an answer. Define “happy”? There are things I enjoy, am enjoying, but do they make me “happy”? What is “happiness”? The concept seems like a whole-system matter to me, like all of me has to be consistently happy for it to count, it can’t just be localized to a few specific things or hours. I’ve long said that I’m more of a pragmatist than an optimist but also this might very well be a weird autistic logicization of emotions, idk. Anyway, pressed to answer and my default is always, always going to be Irma. ❤️🐕

Well since my email seems to be working again, maybe write in and tell me something that’s been making you happy? Or, if you’re not feeling entirely happy yourself, tell me of something pleasant and maybe I can extend to you my own happiness that you experienced it.

Have a good week y’all, and may your DNS forever be correctly populated across your email servers. Or whatever it does.

xox,