I’ll admit, if ever there was a week I’d considered taking a break from sending out a newsletter, it be this one. Mostly because I’m tired of documenting my copious struggles, which I feel like is what most of this year (and tbh, a good portion of last year) has been. I had intended to use this space/publication to write about work and musings and the better things of life, but I find myself mired in such continuous setbacks that it’s hard to get ahead, or to see beyond the immediate into what could be.

Basically, I’m as tired of this shit as you must be.

I’ll drop the easy one first: after another week with another useless maintenance visit, followed shortly by notice that it’s time to sign a new lease with the obligatory (“obligatory” 😂🤬) rent increase, I’m beginning to reach out to legal counsel and resources for tenants’ rights violations. Which, as a silver lining, means no more talking about all of this maintenance business until… I don’t know, until everything’s fixed, or I sue them, or something? But anyway, lucky you! But unlucky me, for while I may not be writing about it here, I’ll still be having to think about it, and document it, write emails about it, and so on. Big sigh!! But like I said, no idea how this will go, so wish me luck.

The toughest part of my week is that my 15-year-old corn snake, Tanis, passed away. It wasn’t unexpected nor sudden, though; she had started showing signs of a quickly escalating illness last year. After two rounds of antibiotics, Tanis was improving. I was really hopeful she would pull through. But, she wasn’t eating. And it’s really hard to heal when your body has no nutrients. Tanis was my first pet snake, a noble and dignified creature who was patient and gentle, her sleek silver body always softer than you think a snake ought to be. She was a lot of people’s first snake they’d ever held. When I first got her she was the size of a pencil, and over the years grew to over 5’ long (close to my own height).

I haven’t been talking about her illness partly because of, well, everything else… I felt like I was sharing enough bad news and illness and injury and I didn’t want to add more to the mix. And partly because people are really weird about snakes; over the years I got tired of navigating the endless negative comments and grew used to keeping my scaled pets to myself. This time last year, I actually had two corn snakes. The other was Fang, a rescue/rehome I’d taken in about 10 years ago. Fang was always smaller than Tanis, and a class clown type, and he was such a pale yellow that the light from his heat lamp shined through his skull and made his red eyes glow. His departure last spring was sudden, but his tank remains there next to Tanis’, whose I have yet to clean out. I’m not sure what to do with either of their tanks now, but I think I need to at least move them elsewhere, because I still look for her when I walk by.

As I write this, Irma is at her first internal medicine specialist appointment/crashed out at home after said appointment. We went in for an initial consult/appointment this morning and they wanted to start with a few diagnostics that require a short-term stay. So I came home to go about my normal Saturday routine of planning meals for the week and ordering groceries and writing this newsletter. Routine. Normalcy. Absence. Wash, rinse, repeat. Went back to pick her up in the evening and chatted briefly with the vet, who I’ll be hearing from next week after she has spent more time comparing the new imaging and lab work to Irma’s medical history. Loooong day.

On the bright side, I was pleasantly surprised when the man who carried Irma out from the back was someone who’s worked with her at her primary clinic! Apparently he works at both clinics; he said he saw her name on the roster and requested to work with her today. So he helped with her exams, was there when she was coming out of sedation, and eventually hand-fed her when she wouldn’t eat from a bowl (which he couldn’t wait to brag about to her primary vet, lol). It was a stressful day at the end of a stressful week, but it did make me happy to know Irma was being cared for by a familiar face during her extended appointment, someone who was already familiar with her anxieties and quirks.

When this newsletter is sent out on Sunday, I’ll be on my way to an Oscar party, dressed with a red carpet in mind and ready to pretend that everything is fine—and hoping that someone hands me a glass of something bubbly ASAFP. And, in a sense, everything is fine; this is all a part of life, part of being an adult. I know I said after January and all the trials it presented me with that I was unfuckwithable for the rest of the year. But reader, I must admit: It’s the middle of March, and I’m feeling entirely too fucked with.

☑️ Done and Done - The cabaret benefit show was a fun way to start the week. Wednesday I woke up feeling amazing and had most of a good day. I did some cursory houseplant maintenance rather than all of it at once. My one gym session of the week was disturbingly easy despite adding more reps to my sets. Then there was the other stuff.

📋 Coming up - Once again kicking off the week with friends at an Oscar party, plus plans to see a movie with a friend later in the week. Beyond that it’s the usual mix of gym (adding more weight, this time), work (hopefully more work than I had capacity for last week), and some amount of general escapism. And a bit more plant maintenance, as it’s good for my mental health.

📺 Watching - I have one more episode of Bridgerton season 4 to watch. This is the last time I don’t just block off a day to watch it all at once, because I’m not enjoying this slow drip of one or two episodes at a time... that show is made to binge.

📘 Reading - Well miraculously, I finished A Court of Thorns and Roses within the week. I’m not sure how that happened, whether it was just written well enough to pull you through the story quickly, or if I just… needed more alone time with a book than usual. But overall, despite the obvious tropes and odd things (Feyre is 19 and Tamlin is… how old? well over 500?? hmm) I did enjoy it, and started book two, A Court of Mist and Fury, the next day. Also, I did know the answer to Amarantha’s riddle (don’t google it or it will be spoiled!), and I usually suck at riddles, so yay.

👾 Gaming - The new season of Diablo IV started last week, and I decided to roll up a Spirit Born to try out as my Paladin retires to the Eternal (non-seasonal) realm. I’m mixed on the Spirit Born so far, but I’m only level 40, and I feel like the Paladin didn’t click for me until level 50. But I’m also pretty mixed on the new season, and while some of the mechanics are interesting (like “bloodied” gear), some are a bit… tiresome (i.e. hearing the Butcher shout “Kill streak!!” or “Carnage!!” every 30 seconds).

☕ Drinking - Extremely thankful this week for the birthday gifted bottle of Ghost Owl Whiskey, which is one of my favourite whiskeys. It’s made by Parliament Distillery here in the PNW, and to me is a sweeter and more “dessert”-leaning whiskey… great if you take yours neat. Sadly the distillery doesn’t seem to have a website? But it should be easy to find or order, especially if you’re in the region.

As frustrating as things may be of late, I somehow remain hopeful that next week will be easier. Next week, I’ll get more done. Next week, I’ll get more written. Next week. At the same time, I know “next week” is not some magical incantation that will solve all my problems. Only persistence can do that.

If nothing else, may next week be less exhausting than the last. I’ll talk to you then.

xox,