Oh man y’all, another week down. Welcome to summer!! If you, like me, have had a rough first half of 2026, consider the humble solstice. Nothing says “time for a refresh” quite like the longest day/shortest night of the year.

To be honest I’m not the biggest fan of summer; it’s a rough season for me. Everything is too bright with too many people making too much noise (autistically overwhelming), and it is also too sunny and too warm (bad for health reasons). This is at odds with my desire to be social and involved in things… everyone wants to take advantage of the “nice” weather by maximizing their exposure to and experience in all the things that are bad for me. It’s a contradiction to be sure and difficult to manage, but it does allow me to lean into the vampire vibes. I rarely leave my home before 6pm. The sunglasses stay on until after sunset. A parasol may make an appearance if I am forced into the broiling afternoon sun. And I have an excuse to stay up later, stay out later, to maximize the comfortably dark summer nights.

I’m hoping it will be a good season to stay in and be productive in my copious amount of alone time after being so unproductive in recent months. I have a few projects around the home that I’m looking forward to finishing… which is a good sign, I think, and an improvement over feeling like there’s literally so much to do and I don’t have the time or motivation or energy to do ANY of it.

I’m not quite where I want to be, autistic burnout recovery-wise, but progress is progress. There are good things afoot, which is a relief, and good things planned, which serve as motivation. It’s been very difficult to let myself have fun, with the ever-looming monitoring presence of various Open Loops. But also, I’m trying to remind myself that I don’t have to earn good things by merit of my productivity. Something we have talked about in the past, here in this lil newsletter space, and I’m trying to practice what I preach.

☑️ Done and Done - Went out to a Dungeons & Dragons themed burlesque night, and a dungeon synth show later in the week. Saw the new movie Leviticus followed by a Q&A with the director and lead. Checked out a new restaurant. Bought a new vintage kimono from the local Japanese heritage society. Did a bunch of laundry (but somehow, also, not enough), watched a few bad movies. Got in a couple good high energy walks with Irma. Desperately worked to regain and maintain a functional baseline.

📋 Coming up - End Of Month admin work, tackling at least one home project, hiding from the summer heat, scheduling more medical appointments, try to make it to the gym at least twice (my local gym finally has a new yoga instructor!). Loose plans for some online gaming with a friend. There are zero events on my calendar right now is now one and only one event on my calendar right now and I’m rather tempted to otherwise go full hermit.

I saw some aesthetic post on Instagram recently that was a lovely photo of like, some green ivy-covered wall, with some lovely soft italic typeface that read, “There’s time for everything you want to do” or whatever. I saved it because maybe I’ll want to repost it some day and scrolled on, and while I have yet to actually repost it… the sentiment has lingered. And as sentiments are wont to do, it’s had me thinking.

The timeline of the year has not entirely followed the trajectory I was expecting, let alone the speed. A grand mix of “hurry up and wait” and “wait for me” mixed into a confusing blend of responsibility and adventure. Mostly the former, not yet enough of the latter to feel even. And it’s such a strange space to occupy when you’re presented with the opportunity to move forward but you still have things to finish up before any amount of change can actually be stepped into.

I’m encouraged by the current state of things, though those lingering frustrations remain. While I’m not a summer person per se, I won’t deny that I could use the extra light to move around in. In the writing surrounding the above excerpt, I was ruminating on the things I don’t know vs. what I do know… don’t know how to do x or y, but do know that I want this or that, do know myself and my needs and so forth. “And the rest, well, I hope I can figure that out along the way.”

I’m not always the most patient person, especially once I’ve made up my mind about something, the way that an independent woman will rearrange her bedroom at 2am because suddenly the vibes are all wrong and she knows exactly how to feng shui everything back into alignment so that she can finally get some good sleep. But that is at odds with the things I don’t know, at odds with the things that I do know need to happen first to get from here to there. I think that random inspirational post stuck with me so much because I’ve been so mired in the sense that I was surrounding by things that needed to be done immediately, and that’s simply not the case. I also remind myself, doing one thing well will always top doing three things half-heartedly. There is time enough for everything.

🎬 Watching - As mentioned, I saw an advance screening for Leviticus (2026), which was a very unexpected combination of romance and horror. I certainly have some thoughts on the themes and symbolism used throughout the movie, which I won’t speak on here until y’all have an opportunity to go see it… but if you like subtle introspective horror, or horror that is very queer, def check this one out.

🎬 Also Watching - I also put on the My Fault: London (2025) and Your Fault: London (2026) movies as background entertainment, and while I’m definitely not quite the age demographic for them, they were passably entertaining. Based on the Culpable book series by Mercedes Ron, the plot feels like it was written for the teens who grew up with divorced/remarried parents who were (are) fans of the Fast & Furious franchise.

🎵 Listening - I saw Hole Dweller on tour this past week with Fen Walker and Imp, and I think the show really captured a lot of what I love about dungeon synth music: a bunch of normal looking punk and metal guys alongside a lot of very aesthetic femme types, and they’re all just big ol nerds, gathered around at the local vegan dive bar to appreciate the rock out whimsically to music inspired by hobbitses and castles and dragon ships in space.

👕 Wearing - With the weather heating up, it’s time to start wearing more skirts and dresses (hooray). But since I’m not exactly a “cute sundress” type of girl, you can find me basically living in this slinky black Skims dupe (and about three other dresses like it). If you see me wear this out multiple times in a single week, no you didn’t.

Are you celebrating the solstice today and looking forward to summer adventures? Or are you lamenting the oncoming heat and abundance of “going outside just to be outside”? I mean, regardless of the perils of summer, I am a little bit of both. Just… in moderation. All good things in moderation. And with plenty of sunscreen.

Rest up, try to minimize your exposure to any drastic heat, and don’t forget that sunscreen while you’re out. See you again next week.

xox,