Life has sucked less this week, and I’m going to try to do more with this issue than uhhh vent about challenges still present. 😅 Also it’s pleasantly sunny out, the cherry blossoms are in bloom, and I have a freshly made matcha in hand (well, on desk) as I type this, so, lfg?

It’s spring now in a technical sense, as Friday was the Spring Equinox. But I think it might actually be spring outside as well? I didn’t think that was a thing that happened anymore, for those two things to sync up.

Surprisingly, I’m not one of the witchy types to consider the start of Spring/Aries season as a “true” new year. I mean, I understand it, but after the Gregorian Calendar New Year/Lunar New Year/Birthday-as-a-Personal New Year series of events… I just don’t got any more New Years in me at this point. It’s very much a “you do you” situation! Though I’m always happy to welcome Persephone back top-side, maybe break open a pomegranate to share.

And since I primarily walk everywhere or take public transit, the warmer days of Spring are welcome because they expand my wardrobe options exponentially. I no longer have to dress for winter survival and can maybe actually do a Fashion again. As it was, winter here was a bit of a nonstarter… I don’t think I even had a reason to pull out my heaviest sweaters. Similarly, I’m seeing a mix of late winter and early spring plants that are confused about what they’re supposed to be doing right now. We could very well be in a false spring and it will end up snowing in April. Who’s to say! Either way, I’m enjoying seeing an increase in the sun beams making their way inside right now, as are the animals.

For those of you keeping score at home, I did get results back from Irma’s visit to the internal specialist last weekend. No actual answers yet, but we do know that she’s not experiencing liver failure, and there’s no masses or serious abnormalities, and it’s probably not cancer or any kind of bacterial infection. She’s being put on a new medication to help her gallbladder and liver do their thang, which is in addition to a liver support supplement and a probiotic. The next step is to take liver and intestine biopsies sometime in the next month. I know that sounds scary and technically it is surgery, and anesthesia is always a risk. But also… anything that gets us closer to an answer and to long-term treatment and subsequent health and long life is a good thing.

And I did promise to not say too much about this stuff moving forward but… I do finally have a new water heater, I can shower for at least 20 minutes, and I can’t wait to put my storage closet back together next week to get all these household supplies out my damn living room! Anyway… 🤫

☑️ Done and Done - Sunday’s Oscars party (and dive bar afterparty) was a rousing success… but it was a very loud, very social 10-hour rouse and thusly the subsequent days were spent reading in bed being extremely comfy and quiet. A friend brought me a goose egg to cheer me up (I love eggs). Sent a lot of emails and made a lot of phone calls re: Irma’s health care. Picked out cremation urns for both my snakes on St. Patrick’s Day. Did some laundry and finally got started on my long-delayed open wardrobe reorganization. Saw a very spooky movie, had more (less intense) social time.

📋 Coming up - Visiting cherry blossoms at the park. Heading back into the gym a couple times this week after taking last week off. Doing a lot of paperwork and such for an appointment next week. Small bits of wardrobe organization and maybe repotting some houseplants when I can.

I think this is a theme I’ve struggled with a lot across my life, in ways I’ve not always understood. I’ve often found myself in situations I thought were aligned with my goals, my values, and believed that was enough. And perhaps, sometimes, for a time, it is… where work is concerned or the city you live in or an educational trajectory, perhaps. But it’s taken me a long time—too long, imo—to figure out that alignment without attunement is where boredom festers, and dissatisfaction grows.

Work that aligns with your career goals but isn’t attuned to your lifestyle can lead to burnout. School that’s aligned with your educational needs but not attuned to your learning style will lead to bad grades. Et cetera. I’ve mostly seen “attunement” defined in terms of interpersonal relationships, but I do think it goes beyond that because we do have a personal relationship with our own lives, after all.

So me, personally, I get into these flows where everything is aligned, where it all, on paper, makes sense. And it’s always fine at first, the logic is logicing. But over time… something starts to feel… wrong. Suddenly the vibes are off, but nothing’s changed. “This is aligned, I know it works because it used to work, there’s no reason it shouldn’t work now, keep your head down and keep going.” And it’s frustrating when you know exactly what you want, you know exactly how this thing or that thing should be getting you closer to what you want, but it’s simply… not.

Thinking about this the other night while I was writing in my journal, I started to look at it like this: Alignment is two parallel lines, moving forward down the same trajectory, stable in their path, their placement, uniquely their own. But something that is parallel to you will never connect with you; whether those two lines are moving in opposite directions or the same, whether they are traveling at the same speed or not, they will never meet.

Whereas: Attunement. Two lines moving forward in the same direction, same speed, not quite following the same trajectory, probably not even a straight line themselves (because life is unpredictable and we can’t control forces outside ourselves). But these two lines are more or less heading in the same direction at the same time and sometimes, one intersects with the other. Because the two lines are attuned—same speed, same direction—they don’t merge or suddenly reroute, they simply collide and… keep moving forward.

In musing on all this, I realized that I have always, always been looking for those moments and paths of parallel alignment. Because they’re logical, they’re safe, I thought that’s what we were supposed to be looking for. And I realized it’s not always alignment that I need in life, it’s attunement. Things, people, activities, opportunities, that are attuned with me… not just with where I want to be, but where I am.

Now I just gotta figure out how to do that.

🎬 Movie - I went to see Undertone (2026), the new Canadian indie horror produced by A24. I’m glad I saw this in a theater, instead of trying to watch it in my brightly lit apartment. It was a good and proper spooky, and I think it held it’s own enough to be considered an actual horror movie and not just a suspenseful thriller. Like most of the A24’s I’ve seen, it’s very very psychological; don’t be afraid to take some time ruminating on the themes and presentation before you try to dissect it. This was director Ian Tuason’s first feature length film and I get the sense that he’s been plotting on this one for a long, long time. It was beautifully shot, and the cinematography holds a lot of clues about the experience you’re witnessing.

👾 Video Game - It’s the Steam Spring Sale, baby! I decided to treat myself to a lil indie game that’s been on my wishlist, The Long Dark, because at $3.49 it’s 90% off and it’s hard to ignore that kind of deal! Not sure how I found this one, maybe a friend recommended it? It’s a slow burn survival game… no zombies no monsters, just you and the open terrain and a lot of exploration to do as you learn how to survive in a post-civilization world. The Long Dark is available on other platforms; check the website for more. And since the Steam Spring Sale runs through March 26, why not grab 1-8 games that you will maybe hopefully get around to playing some time in the next two years?

👾 Bonus Game - If you don’t have any other games to pick up during this Spring Sale, then go grab one of my all-time favourites: Wytchwood, which is marked down to $4.99. I love this game so much I own it on two platforms (Steam/PC and Switch), as well as the soundtrack. The art design is beautifuland and looks as good on a TV screen as it does on a handheld device, the gameplay is easy to learn but not so formulaic that it gets boring, and it actually has an end to the story… one that won’t take you 158 hours to get to. Perfect for cozy gamers and folklore-loving weirdos.

📘 Book - I’m in the last few chapters of A Court of Mist and Fury (aff link), book 2 of the Acotar series, and I remain impressed that these are so digestible. I’ve never been a fast reader, but Maas’ writing is just so dang accessible. Or it could be that I’m reading them as ebooks and not paper books; for some reason the digital format always speeds me along (I can make the text size larger and thusly the “width” of the page and each line of text becomes shorter, which may be a factor?). Whatever it is, I’ll be starting book 3 tomorrow. And book 2 is such a shift from where I thought the series would go at the end of book 1, I’m glad I went into this with the intention of reading the series all at once.

🌬️ Perfume - I finally had an opportunity to wear Feral, a limited-edition (gender neutral) perfume from indie perfumer Treading Water, which someone gifted me for my birthday. My initial impression was that it “smells like the burn of a strong rum downed quickly in a mossy abandoned shed in the middle of the woods.” It wears quite well and still smells delightful the next day; I had only bought the 10ml but might need a full bottle of this while it exists. The actual description (in full, as the product page will eventually be deleted, and because it’s quite evocative):

I’m still spinning a lot of plates over here, mentally. Quite nearly queued this up and walked away with this final section left undone. But Spring do be spranging, and I’m getting shit done, and things are being taken care of, and I’m keeping my head above water.

Even if I know that everything will work out (it always does, after all), even if I know I’m capable of handling all this, I’m still… tired. Someone could train for years to climb Mt. Everest but that doesn’t make them immune to exhaustion when they’re trapped in a blizzard on a cliff face. We wait for the weather to calm down and then we begin again our ascent towards the calm at the top of the peak.

As much as I love the gloomy days, the rain and clouds, I’m thankful the sun is starting to come around again. Its energy is welcome, this season, as is its warmth. Stay cozy; let’s do this again next week.

xox,